The State of Motherhood in America

A writer once wrote, "No nation is greater than its mothers, for they are the makers of men" But, when I turn on my television and see the numbers of mothers who are killing their children I must ask myself, "What drives a mother to point of killing her own child?" "What is it in our society that makes a mother feel so desparate, so alone, that she believes her only recourse is the death of herself and her children?" Andrea Yates, who killed her five children; Dee Etta Perez, who shot her three children; Deanna Lany, who beat her two sons; Lisa Ann Diaz who drowned her daughters; Dena Schlosser, who fatally severed her daughters arms; and now Gilberta Estrada, who hung herself and her children. Not to mention the countless number of babies that are born and left in dumpsters even with the passing of a new law that says they can leave them in safe places and receive no repercussions.

Loneliness, poverty, depression; what demons lurk behind the erstwhile smiles of these women that lead them to believe that death is the only option.

Women have suffered hardships for years. Slavery, the Great Depression, living during the Civil Rights Era, all of these times were hard, but you never heard of mothers killing their children. Instead that reached deep down inside themselves and mustered whatever strength they could to make sure that their children had better lives than they did.

What has changed? Nothing could be more devastating that being raped by a slave master, forced to have his illegitimate child, and then being forced to raise that child. Yet, these things happened and many of these children and/or their grandchildren grew up to be productive, effective citizens in our society.

During the Great Depression and the Civil Rights movements, money was scarce, but somehow people managed to take the little they had and turn it into something great. Material things were not the norm. What was more important was love of the family, togetherness, and morality.

Could it be that as a society we have focused so much on gaining material wealth that we have forgotten about people? There was a time when neighbors knew neighbors, intimately; when everyone in the neighborhood had a stake in raising good, well rounded children. If, a mother was suffering and needed support, she could go to the neighbors house and be assured that whatever they had would be shared with her and her family.

Motherhood is a gift from God and it should be cherished. However, in our day it has been massacred. It is mocked. Unfortunately, too many mothers exercise selfishness with small regard for their children whom they largely ignore.

Then their are those mothers who really try to do better, but because of bureaucratic red tape, and long waiting lines, they are left to their own devices to try to make it. Where is the love and support? Where is "Big Mama", "Mamaw", and Grandmother, who can help teach and nurture these young mothers? Or have they become a sign of the past as well.

Mothers are supposed to be the teachers of compassion, love, forgiveness, honesty, and integrity. Yet, because society has all but given up on these qualities, they are forced to spend their time looking for their next paycheck. Many of them can't even be with their children when they are ill because their jobs won't allow them to be off. Instead, the children drag off to school feeling bad and lacking the security and comfort of a mother's love. What have we done?

If, we don't cure the disease that is eating away at motherhood and do it soon, our nation is headed for destruction.

The Woman's Curse

This morning as I turned over in my sleep, I heard a story on the morning news cast. The story talk about yet another birth control method for today's "modern woman"

Now, most women might applaud this effort, but I for one am concerned. The new drug Lybrel, was marketed as the next step in birth control. The troubling thing to me though, is the fact that women will no longer have a cycle at all.

Don't misunderstand, I agree, having a cycle can be an inconvenience. It can also be downright annoying and painful, but, it is there for a reason.

Each month a woman's body is prepared to give birth to a child. When this does not happen the toxins and wastes are removed from her body through the process of menstruation.

If menstruation no longer happens, what happens to these toxins and wastes?

I personally believe that our bodies have been designed to do exactly what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it. When we try to improve on that by way of synthetic means, I truly believe that we do more harm than good.

Many times we find ourselves in the doctors office with ailments that could be alleviate through very simple means; better diet, exercise, more water, more fiber. Yet, when the doctor tells us tht this is what we need to do to eliminate our symptoms, we immediately look for other possible cures. Being the good doctors that they are, they accomodate our lack of self control and prescribe mediations, synthetically made, to stop our high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes.

The problem is tha these medications are synthetic and our livers and kidneys must now adjust in order to metabolize them. As a result, we now not only have high cholesterol or diabetes, we also have kidney problems and liver problems.

Is it really a good idea to eliminate our bodies natural ability to eliminate wastes by not using self control in our diets or allowing natural processes such as menstruation to occur? What do you think?

What Does it Mean To Talk Black?

Coming up as an African American girl in the South, I often was accused of talking like a white girl. Even now many people who first speak to me over the phone are surprised to learn that I am Black.

This caused me to think, "what does it mean to talk black?"

Well, here's the crazy thing. I am black and I do talk. Therefore, when I talk, wouldn't I be talking black since that's what I've been all life?

Where do we get off trying to colorize a way of speech?

The problem is, that somehow we as Black people have allowed ourselves to be stereotyped as slang talking, ebonics speaking, individuals. Personally, I prefer to use the term "unlearned speaking."

To that end I can assure you that I have heard Whites, Latinos, and other nationalities split verbs with the best of them. So, how then is it that we choose to call this type of vernacular "talkin black." In my opinion, ethnicity has nothing to do with it. A lack of education is the more appropriate culprit. N0t only from an academic standpoint, but from a cultural standpoint as well.

Society has been led to believe that black people in general, and young black people in particular, converse this way all the time. Not true. There are many of us who use the english language in its proper form on a regular basis and, contrary to popular belief, those of us who do choose to speak properly are not "talkin' white" we are simply using correct grammar.

I really wish people would get over this whole thing of "talkin' black", or "talkin' white" and simply talk.

Are Our Educators and Administrators Smart Enough to Teach Our Children?

Recently there has been an attack in Texas on educators and administrators who have had to take standardized tests many times in order to teach in our classrooms. These test are supposedly designed to evaluate the educators knowledge base as well as their ability to teach in a classroom. The assumption is that once an educator or administrator passes these exams they are ready to teach our students. It is further assumed that if one does not pass these tests that they are somehow not equipped for the classroom.

The problem? How do you standardize one's learning or abilities? Each individual is different and to assume that everyone that passes the exams is a good teacher is crazy! There are instructors that pass these tests, that while they may have the knowledge base, their ability to impart that knowledge falls way short of what is needed.

By the same token, there are instructors that take this test and fail it. Some of these instructors are the most wonderful educators in the world.

So much emphasis is placed on standardized testing that learning is forgotten. Experience is the best teacher, yet experiential learning is a thing of the past. There are few, if any, field trips to places like the museum or the symphony. The only thing that matters, at least in the State of Texas is the darn test.

There are so many variables in the whole process. First of all, everyone does not learn the same. Then there is the fact that everyone is not a good test taker. Finally, you simply cannot standardize ones learining or one's abilities.

The real issue here should not be the fact that these instructors could not pass the test. Rather the issue should be whether or not standardized testing is a true indicator of one's ability to learn or one's ability to teach.