Sunday, September 16, 2007

Would Cheating Stop if Women Stick Together?

What do you think? If men didn't have anyone to cheat with could this problem actually be eliminated? Place your comments here and then go to our poll and vote.

13 comments:

Craig C said...

No, there are only two ways Cheating will stop.

1)The fear of the Lord in that area of Sin. It is impossible to fear
God in every Sin of your life.

I am a Former Cheater. During my first marriage, Cheated about once
a month for seven years.

This is my second and final marriage, and after 13 years, I have not
Cheated on my Queen. The amazing part on all of this, is that for
the last 13 months, we have been in a distant relationship. Yes the
devil is mad, Im less than 2 hours from Atlanta, my wife is in Ohio.

2)Unconditional Love: I use to say to my Boo, I Love You
unconditionally, I have Agape Love for you. Honestly, I did no I
felt that way, it was more of a compliment. But, only seeing her one
weekend every 4 to 6 weeks has shown us both what Agape Love really
is. Just Love in a relationship is not enough.

My Advice to women is this: If you have been dating someone for
awhile. You want to get married, and he keep putting it off. The
best thing for you to do is break it off. You are a woman, and you
find yourself asking a man to marry you, then that's not proper.

* So if a man marry a woman when he is not ready. That man going to
Cheat.

*If you date a man with a girlfriend and he end up with you. If he
Cheated on her, he will Cheat on you.

*Ladies, stop dating men that you no will not Commit.

Dwan Abrams said...

I love what Craig C. said. I agree that women banning together will not stop a man from cheating.

Besides, the man is the one in the relationship; therefore, it's his responsibility to behave... not the other woman's. Not to mention the fact that men lie. The other woman may not have known that she was in fact "the other woman."

But I think you're referring to the women who just don't care. The type who will sleep with your man just because. I do not think that any self-respecting, decent woman would settle for being with another woman's man. At least not knowingly. Even still, it's not someone else's responsibly to make a man do right.

Besides, women are cheating just as much as men these days. Surely, men are not the only dogs. In fact, I wrote an article, "Why Women Cheat," and received plenty of emails because of it. I wasn't surprised by the overwhelming number of women who were either having affairs or contemplating having an affair. I hate to say this, but that's just the way it is.

Dwan Abrams
Novelist/Editor/Publisher
www.dwanabrams.com
www.nevaehpublishing.com

Dwan Abrams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa's Love Thoughts said...

It would certainly help if women would raise their level of thinking by honoring God first and ourselves and one another second. Especially when confronted with the temptation to allow a man into our bed - especially if you know the man is cheating.

Having said that, each person knows the temperature of their own heart and the decision to cheat is just that - a decision. If a person is determined to live right and honor the vows of their relationship, it's highly unlikely that they will stray.

However, if a person is determined to behave selfishly only seeking their own satisfaction, believe me, they will find a way to cheat. And that's an unfortunate reality.

I do wholeheartedly believe that once a married couple comes to understand the power that is resident within the marrige bed and learns to maximize that God-given power - they will never, ever go seeking for something counterfeit. They will realize that the marriage bed is not only a place of physical intimacy, but spiritual renewal, refreshing and regeneration.

Once we come into the fullness of what God has truly given us, there will be no need or desire to cheat.

b free said...

The answer to the question is no. It would be so simple if everyone had God in their hearts. There are men who don't care that they are married cause "what she don't know, won't hurt her". Then there are women who don't care if the man is married and don't be surprised if she sits right next to you at Sunday morning service, choir rehearsal, women's meeting, etc. The fear of God is so thin these days. It's scary.

Kendra Norman-Bellamy said...

To answer your question in the way that it is posed, the answer, in my opinion, would be "Yes; unless the men would then begin to turn to each other for gratification."

I believe your straight forward questions asks if all women banned together and said "no" and men then had no woman to cheat with, would the cheating stop? Although it is a scenerio that would never happen...if it somehow did, and there were no women on earth willing to lower themselves to the ungodly level of being some man's side dish, then yes, the cheating would stop. I mean, realistically, how could it continue if NO WOMAN was unwilling to participate? At that point, the "art" of cheating could only continue if men were either willing to substitute that woman for another man, an animal.....or if that man would then go as far as to force himself on (rape) a woman who refused his proposal.

Like I said, a collective turn-around like this would never happen and there will always be both men and women who are willing to be unfaithful to their spouses, but if the option of cheating was taken away, then yes, cheating would be eradicated.

That's my two cents on the matter. :-)

Gmorris said...

alot of men cheat because they are not fulfilled, but
I do Not think in most cases that a male cheats
because he is not fulfilled. I think he cheats
because he is not disciplined. A man likes variety.
Many men have said that they do not know why they
cheated because their wives are the only ones they
love, and they are fulfilled by them. It is definitely
harder for a man to resist the finesse of a woman that
is just their make up. We have learned from biology
and physiology that a man is aroused more so by sight
and a woman by touch. That's why there is so much
diversity in pornography.

A man can have the total package at home and still
see someone, not know her, and sleep with her that
same night. She may have a big butt and that turns him
on, it could be her dress and he's imagining sleeping
w/her or it could be that she is extremely beautiful
and he's imagining having sex etc. I have asked why
most men cheat and I have heard from males that they
just imagine experiencing that other women's private
parts, and how she might feel. I think that there are
degrees of cheating although cheating is cheating. If
a man has a mistress then I think he could be finding
fulfillment, but many men just have random 1 & 2 night
stands. Real men are able to discipline themselves,
consider their wives and children and turn off the
variety channel in their loins. He dare not let
another woman disrespect his woman because he hold her
in such high regards and vice versa for the woman.

Peace,
Gmorris

Anonymous said...

A man stop cheating. I think it's possible if he
> finds himself a
> fulfilling relationship.
> Most men cheat because they think the woman that
> they are with is not
> satisfying them in SOME area.
> They are actually seeking the perfect woman in many
> different women.
> IE, Sheila's overweight, but she can cook
> Tonya can't cook, but she's a dime piece
> etc,etc, etc.
> Most men unfortunately do not realize until they are
> older (a lot
> older) that the one woman they started off with was
> all they needed in
> the first place!
>

sydney molare said...

Cheating is a two way street, with women cheat as much as their male counterparts these days.

Would banding together as women help? Not really. Those that want to cheat will. It has to be an inner mental change occur for cheating to stop.

Anonymous said...

they only thing that will stop a man or woman from cheating is themselves. i believe people cheat because they want, not because they are unhappy in their marriage/relationship.

there's a lot of man sharing going around also. some women know, some don't. with the lack of black men, what other option is there for a black woman? is she expected to live her entire life, alone, unfulfilled, unloved?

we desire love, we desire companionship, it's not a good feeling to grow old or to be alone when you know you have so much to share. I love God and pray the right man comes along. but we live in the world, chances of that man coming along is 1 in 3billion.

is ok for a single woman to live a barren life?

rhondajjoseph said...

This is always an interesting topic--cheating.

No, I do not think cheating would stop if women stuck together, because unfortunately, society tells men that it is their due to have as many women as they want. We tell our women who have been cheated on to forgive those transgressions because "men will be men". And there will always be a woman who will serve as an outlet for this "being a man", whether knowingly or not.

I hate that we make our women who are single feel as if they are "less than" and unattractive. Many of these women flee towards the closest Any Body who will have them, even if that means they are put into the position of being cheated on. Alternately, because we tell some of these same women that there is such a shortage of good men and if you find one you need to keep him, many others of them will fall into being the other woman in hopes that that "good man" (who really can't be all that good if he's cheating, now can he?) might decide to be with them.

Now, I do believe the cheating game would change for the better if more women would refuse to be used in that manner, as both the other woman and the woman cheated on. It would let men who cheat know that those women respect themselves too much to be a party to that foolishness. These women would be conveying the message that we are actually responsible for own happiness--no one else is charged with that job. Then, the cheaters would have to stay clear of them, because their main excuse of "Well, I'm not happy...she doesn't make me happy..." won't help them at all with these strong women who are in the know.

tanya said...

Honestly, I really don't think cheating will ever stop because all women will never stick together-for one reason or another. You have women who only date married men, and will have it no other way. You have women who allow their husbands to cheat (and the women know all about the other affairs, etc.)...
Idealistically, I think it would be one of the greatest moments in the lives of women to stick together and charge their husbands with 'Committing to Legal and Spiritual Committment.'
--Back to reality.... - there are women (I am female, so I've lived long enough to 'make sound observations of women from all walkways of life), who wouldn't do anything more or less than to cheat on or cheat with someone else. I think that if, as women, we could build each other up instead of seeing other (constantly), as competition ALL THE TIME, we could probably start to decrease the number of indiscretions that have occurred. Let's face it.... when people cheat on their spouses (husbands/wives), there is obviously some sort of issues (be them generational curses, not enough self-confidence, too much 'false self-confidence', etc.) that gives them the 'green light' to cheat on their spouses.
I think the questions need to be the following....
1. As women, how many indiscretions will you allow from your spouse before you address the situation?
2. As women, once you address the indiscretion(s), are you spirtually ready for whatever happens next?
3. As women, are you only interested in addressing cheating if others have discovered 'your business?'
4. As women (given the hypothetical situation that women are beginning to 'stick together') how will you respond if 'your sister's keeper' actually indicates to you that your husband has been spotted with someone else (no, not circumstantially- but romantically), how will you respond- or will you respond at all?.......

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