I will be a guest blogger on The Savvy Sister the week of May 4th. Trying to check out the kinds of items that are included on this site, I ran across the following question and response. Needless to say, I had something to say about this. Please read and add your comments.
Ladies, there’s a growing trend that I’m concerned with at the present time. There’s a growing number of African American SINGLE mothers on the scene. What is really going on? Why do you think these men can give you a baby, but not a ring? Is it the men or is it the men that you are choosing?
What do you think is the real reason so many sistas are unmarried (with a kid or kids)? I would of course love to hear the opinions of my single moms………. Please enlighten The Player.
A response from anonymous
It may not be whether or not they want to put a ring on our finger. We may not want to accept the ring because of who's offering it.
Shit happens. I know shit happened to me. I never intended to get pregnant but it happened with rubbers in play. My baby daddy is just that, my baby's daddy. Had my son not came about he would have no title in my life AT ALL. He offered to go the route of being in a committed relationship but I saw no purpose. He had already shown me he wasn't about much so WHY would I want somebody like that to put a ring on my finger? Women need to just make sure we always use protection. Cause these men out here are scandalous. I can count three men that have since told me that they intentionally tried to get me preganint. That was some scandalous bullshit if I ever heard some. Player you aint got kids? And if you do, why didn't you put a ring your baby momma's finger?
Why are you giving Single player or any man for that matter all the power and all the responsibility. Anonymous, you have already said that your "baby's daddy" wasn't about much, so why did you sleep with him in the first place.
Listen,there are so many single mama's out here because we refuse to acknowledge the red flags when we see them. Some of us believe that a piece of man is better than no man. Still others of us believe that we can change the man.
Stop giving men all the credit for the situations that we find ourselves in. The bottom line is, no one held a gun to our heads when we slept with these men. (at least I hope not) Most of us went into the bedroom with our eyes open. If, you sleep with someone without protection, a baby can be the end result.Even if you use protection that fails,knowing that the man is already a loser and sleeping with him anyway, Hmm who's the real loser. Ladies you are smarter than that. Your poor choices are not the man's fault.
Let's be real, take responsibility for our actions and move on. If, you want to change the trend, change yor choices. Remember that your body is a temple. Don't give it away to anybody